to amazing friends

I have made some really great friends in college. I don't see them as much as I would like, but I just realized that after I graduate I won't get to see them much at all. It really makes me sad. I hope that I will be able to stay in touch with them, but it's not going to be an easy thing to do. My best friend from High School, Sarah, and I tried to stay in touch after high school, but our lives became so different that we just kind of lost touch. Sure, we send the occasional message on Facebook and ask how each other is doing, but we don't know everything about each other anymore. I really do miss her, but I recently found out that she is moving back home too! So hopefully we will see more of each other. As I leave good friends, hopefully I get back in touch with my old ones.

I have made three really great friends, and I have realized that each of them is there for me in different ways. They have all helped me to become the person I am today, without them I would still be my very quiet shy self. Instead, I'm less quiet and shy, although they never cured me, they helped me alot :)

One of the best friends that I made in college is my friend Kelly. She went to the same high school that I did, but we weren't very close. We were only acquaintances. She asked me if I wanted to room with her in college. We did, and for the most part it was good, but we got in a huge fight during our second semester. We decided that living together and being friends and doing everything together was not a good mixture. It kind of ended up that we wouldn't room together anymore, and I'm really glad we never did. I think that big fight is what kept our relationship strong. Three years later, I look back on it and realize that maybe it was for the best that we did room together, otherwise I would have never made such a good friend. Of course we still have small arguments, but for some reason we are still best friends. I really don't understand it myself. I know we both get on each others nerves at times, but honestly she knows everything about me and still chooses to talk to me. I know I was put into her life for a reason, and vice verse.

My sophmore year, I met Lacy. Kelly was originally supposed to room with her, but she got a job where she got her own room, so we decided to room together. Lacy is an amazing person. I'm so glad I got to know her. We were really good roommates. We didn't spend every second together, but we liked a lot of the same things- especially country music. I just enjoy talking to her. I don't really go to her with my problems, but I know she would be there for me, and I've always tried to be there for her. Her dad passed away while we were rooming together and I know that it was a really difficult time for her. It was a new and difficult experience for me because I wanted to be there for her but didn't really know how to be. I still feel bad and wonder if I was there for her as much as she needed me to be. I know that this is one of the reasons I was more capable of handling the death of my grandpa. We are still fairly close and have tried to keep up with everything that's going on, but it's difficult now that she doesn't live on campus. I really want to stay in touch with her because she is a really great person.

I met my friend Mindy my freshman year of college, but we didn't become really good friends until later on in the second semester or sophmore year. She has always told me the truth no matter what. That is what I like about her. She's not going to sugarcoat something, she is going to tell me exactly what she thinks. She has also been great support when I was trying to lose weight. She is the only person that truly believed in me, although I let her down, I know she still does. I will really miss her too. I was also a bridesmaid in her wedding :)

I will really miss these three girls. They have all had a huge influence on my life. I can't believe I am just now realizing that I won't see them all the time. I found one picture of all of us together. It was on a snow day our sophomore year. That was a really fun day, and although this is a horrible picture of me, I am so glad that I have met and got to know each and every one of them.

and this is why they all love me :)

P.S. I really want to print the collage out.. but my printer stinks.. any suggestions?

the last two weeks.

I only have two weeks left of college. It's amazing to me how fast time flies by. No matter how worried I've been about everything, I'm starting to realize that everything will come together. Worrying about things isn't the best way to cope but I tend to have the Crevison gene when it comes to that.. Even though I don't know what I'll be doing after school (besides working for dad and mowing cemeteries) I'm sure somethign will come up and I will once again, be led in the right direction. I'm trying not to worry and have a good time during my last few weeks of college.

I had a pretty good weekend this weekend. Friday I went home and ate lunch at my grandma's, then my sister and I helped dad with a few things around home. Then Saturday my mom and I went shopping. I went early to get a massage. It was amazing! Completely worth $40. I have never felt so relaxed in my entire life. If I had the money I would probably go every other week!

I didn't find a dress to wear to my graduation yet, but hopefully I can go today after class and find something that will work. My mom bought me a 42 piece silverware set that was originally $80 for $20! I'm really excited about that! Then we went to get our hair cut because my friend gave us each a coupon for a free haircut. If you're interested and want to know where we went and would like to get your hair cut or colored, I have a 50% off coupon, so e-mail me or write to me on Facebook and I'll give you all of the details! It was a really really nice place, and I would definitely recommend it. I don't know if I will be able to go back very often since it's pretty far away from home, but if I was in the area I would go back.

On Sunday I got up to mow my cemeteries (which didn't help my back/shoulder problems at all- I'm really sore now :( ) but I didn't even get done with that because the mower broke down... I still didn't clean my room either. Oh well. I have to bring all of my stuff home from school in a few weeks anyway so it will be a mess either way..

I didn't realize the time! I have to be in a meeting soon, then I'm going shopping! I will post a pic of my new haircut when I have time and my sunburn goes away ;) I probably cut off 2 or 3 inches!

calm, what is that?

I have been extremely busy and stressed today. I really feel like I almost had a panic attack earlier. I have been shaking all day and my heart has been racing. I seriously thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest as I was walking to class. When I was sitting in class talking about this huge paper, I felt naseous. I know this isn't normal, and I just know I need to relax and calm down and stop thinking about everything I have to do, but I can't. I have honestly never felt like this before.

The main cause of this is my group (of 11 people) paper that is due tomorrow night at 6 p.m. My friend and I are in charge of it and I feel like it's all on me. Maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of it than I think, but I'm just afraid that it's not what we are supposed to be doing. This class determines if I graduate or not and I am not going to fail. I just don't want all of it put on my shoulders if something isn't in it or done right. I'm just not getting as much group input as I would like. The list of things that needs to be added is getting smaller, but I still have a lot of work to do on it. This paper is 50 pages long, one person can't really sit and proofread the whole thing, so it's just a difficult task, and it's just stressing me out! This is only part of my problem..

I have three weeks of school left and I guess I'm not ready to leave. I have so much to do. I'm ready to leave as far as school stuff goes, but I'm not prepared to graduate. I don't have a job, I'm worried about making my parents happy. I don't know where to look, and I'm just plain scared. I know I won't have to worry about a place to live or a job right off because I can work with my dad, but I know he wants me to be actively looking for a job.

I have a few ideas but I really don't know what I want to do, and it's really difficult. I know my parent's aren't expecting me to have a job right out of graduation but I want to at least be started. I have only applied for one job and haven't heard anything back. I have one other application I am going to fill out but haven't had time or felt like doing it.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know that everything will be ok. I just have to remember my favorite quote.

"Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end."

So.. any advice on how to calm down and get through this without having a real panic attack?

I just wish I had a case of Senioritis.. then I wouldn't care... lol

Just to leave you all with something peaceful..... I wanted to crop this and play with it a little, but my computer is being slow... I miss my laptop :( at least it had memory...

P.S. I apologize for the wintery background on my blog. I will change it someday. As soon as I get all of the 40 other things checked off of my to do list. But it kind of fits for today since it's so cold/rainy!

help a sister out!: hair edition

One of my friends gave me a coupon for a free haircut so I am getting it cut on Saturday. I don't know what I want to do but I want a change! I don't want it really really short because I want to be able to put it into a ponytail while I'm working in the summer where I wont' have to have a thousand bobby pins in it. I have a few ideas but I don't know what they would look like on me. I have had the same hairstyle for awhile now, and my hair is almost as long as it has ever been.

Here's what it looks like now.. I know it's not a very good pic, but it shows how long it is and how much you would make me cut off if you decided I should cut it short :( lol.

Here are a few styles that I thought were cute but I don't know if they would look right with the shape of my face. And no, I'm not going blonde just thought you should know.

I really like the length of Nicole Richie's but I don't like her bangs, mine are kind of like that but I dont' think they cover as much as my face as hers do.

I like Kelly Clarkson's but it might be too short. Maybe if it was just a little longer. I just dont' know if this would look good on me at all.. That's why I need your help!

If you have any suggestions or links to a style you think would look good on me let me know!!

I will be sure to post pics after I get it cut, assuming I make a big change and don't just go back to the same old same.'

P.S. I am also getting a massage and I am really really excited about it. I have been wanting to get one for a long time, especially since I am almost done with school. I think I deserve it.. lol. Although I'm kind of nervous about it..

help a sister out!

So I'm working on my Crim 100 (Yes I am a Senior taking a 100 level class) project and I am supposed to come up with rights for citizens and laws for the citizens for people on a new planet. It can be anything. It can even be silly I guess. Right now most of them are serious so I might stick to that, but if you could have any law passed that you wanted and any rights as a citizen, what would they be?

Sorry if this isn't a clear thought. It has been an extremely long day and I'm pretty sure I am slowly losing my mind. I just got assigned a billion things to work on over the weekend so I apologize if I am not thinking clearly.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend because I'm pretty sure I won't have time to blog for a few days, or a few weeks. Hey, who knows.. when I write my next blog I could be a college graduate!

P.S. Sorry I had to delete my last post.. I was supposed to keep the situation on the D.L. which I didn't find out about until this morning, so hopefully no one saw it that shouldn't have.. oops on my part! I guess that's what happens when you start venting.